guys are not supposed to queef...right?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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