Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
