He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
