I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
