is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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