You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
