I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
