GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
