Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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