just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
