Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
