Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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