eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
True strength comes from lack of pants
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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