my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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