Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
