Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
