Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
