PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
