so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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