Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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