He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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