I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
