well you can't waste a boner
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
