I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
