My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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