Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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