Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
