I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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