you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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