I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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