they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
