It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
