There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
