I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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