I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
