What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Randomize
