he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
