You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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