gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
