based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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