She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
