Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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