unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
