i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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