I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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