shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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