he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
