So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
