No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
