Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
