So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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