The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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