you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
